Smile! Aren't You Happy?

by Absence of Mine

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released June 3, 2019

All music written and performed by Absence of Mine

Recorded and produced by Elmo Arteaga at Gold Standard Studios in San Diego, CA
Mastered by Rollie Ulug

Additional vocals on “Hymn Of Heartbreak” by Curissa Alvarez
Additional electronic production on “Funkytowne” by REIGNPATH
Additional writing credits to David Clark

Artwork by Ginno Tacsiat


all rights reserved



Absence of Mine California



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Track Name: Color of Love
Where has your love gone
What are you afraid of
I live to please you

Where has your love gone

Closed my eyes to the light
Tell me why I’m never satisfied
My love is never good enough
Pure devotion to most unholy
Diluted presence of power
Find me in the moonlight, hiding from the sunshine

Creeping underneath the sheets
Hide me from serenity
She is seducing my emotions
My heart follows because I am nothing
Sold my soul, I give it all

Fall to my knee I live to please
Fall to my knee, I’m your slave
Track Name: Eyez of Blue
I can see the days when the life is being pulled from your eyes
You look into mine and I know you feel nothing
Faintest pure of heart
Why must life rip you apart

I need you more than you need me
I walk with you through your darkest days
Yearn for the sunshine to return to your eyes
Haze of grey clouds your vision
Agony of the human condition

You don't see every tear shed
Sunken into bathroom tile

Everything fades if I lay here
lay here
for awhile

Colors of love bleed out slowly

She wrote
Please don't see me differently
I loved you till the end
Say you’ll love me forever
We’ll be together forever
Track Name: Smile! Aren't You Happy?
Dry your tears
Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted
Let it consume your soul
Tore us apart
Smile for me
Don’t beg, don’t plea
Tell me what you want

Apathy fuels my heart
What’s the point to all of this
Sterile puny humans feeding with grubby hands
Fuck you and everything that you love  
Fuck me and fuck my life

Your purpose holds none
So how can I smile
How can you expect me to be happy
What am I living for

Fantasy nothingness filling our lives with pointless bullshit
I’m not afraid of taking my own life
So why do I hesitate
You’re alive and I hate it
I’m alive and I hate it
Track Name:
Laying down to weep and wallow
You can’t keep running around
Play peaceful, play pretend
But you‘re still headed to your end

Another day through the pain
Another vwalk through the rain
Smooth, silent, silk
Smooth, silent, silk

Your warmth I crave
I can feel you inside my veins
When I look at your face
I know one day there’s a price that I will pay

Come to me and lay your heart down
This path will set you free
Here your secrets, secrets are safe
Rest now, sleep easily

Another day through the pain
Another walk through the rain
Smooth, silent, silk
Smooth, silent, silk
Track Name: Hymn of Heartbreak
I can’t forget your face
My heartbreak still won’t fade
I wonder when I’ll get past this pain
And after all of this I know that it’ll never be the same


I know that I made a mistake
Let you go when I should have stayed
Only you can make me feel okay
You take away my pain

I never wanted this
You can’t look at me straight
Forever living in regret
I didn’t want to
But I had to let you go
Track Name: CRY!CRY!CRY!
Been keeping my thoughts to myself
Emotions at a distance
Screaming at myself  
Nobody fucking listens
Tried to drown my sorrows
In a bed of shame
Maybe one kiss of pleasure
Will erase my fucking pain

I’ll fuck the devil’s whore
If it makes me feel alright
Stimulate my senses
Blur my brain
Felt the sin
Forget your touch
Emotions in my eyes
And I look like shit

Filthy hands
Bring no pleasure

Lost in contrition

I wanna fuck
I feel so alone
Won’t you come with me
And destroy my home
Track Name: regretdisdainwallow
Next time you see me I’ll have a smile on my face
Next time you see me I’ll be laying in my grave

Smelling the roses before they wilt
Leaving this world the way I came in
Everything is too good to be true

Crushed by the weight of the guilt you have placed upon me
The intensity of your “love” is rooted in selfishness

Hearing vibrations from your throat is like pulling teeth

And visions of your memory is like chewing tin foil

You called my name and cast me out with one breath
You turned away and watched me fall
What you see is what you get
Track Name: Delilah
Delilah horridly heavenly
Delilah changing reality
Bringing me sanity
Fixing my apathy
Delicate sweet soul
My love

Delilah you are my everything
Delilah my one and only
Bringing me sanity
Fixing my apathy
You are the reason I feel alive

Delilah my love
Delilah my love

Please darling stay with me
Tell me that you’re happy
This life wouldn’t be the same without you

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